I have been doing some thinking lately, and it dawned on me that I ought to start thinking about my future. Although I’ve heard many a time that ‘the future is closer than you think’ and blah-blah-blah, I am a procrastinator and have put off thinking about it thoroughly. At one point I was dead-set on becoming a screen (television, films, et cetera) actor, but this year has opened my eyes, given me new perspective, and made me consider other options.
Writing, for instance, has become really important to me. After learning about and reading some of the works of great writers (Shakespeare, Chaucer, Austen, Hugo, and so forth) I have been encouraged to consider becoming one. Their ability to inspire me to dream and laugh and live and love is so magnificent. I want to become a novelist, or playwright, or poet whose works will bring joy to generation after generation and encourage them to do the same. I adore the world of the Bohemian writers who believed in the principles of freedom, beauty, truth, and above all, love (yes, I did get that from Moulin Rouge :), and I think that taking people to knew worlds, and aiding them in navigating through life and discovering themselves is a highly desirable life choice.
But my whole view point changes when I immerse myself in the magic of music. As I explained before, music inspires me, and captivates my heart and soul, sending it to nirvana. And it is this amazing ability which music possesses, which encourages me to become a musician. I want to give that hope and inspiration which I receive from music to other people, as well as help myself learn about life. I want to escape and help others escape into the harmonious euphoria which is music.
Probably because of my addiction to fashion, the world of fashion design has always interested me. The theatrical ensembles, the mystical atmosphere, and the chic world of Europe’s fashion capitals have begun to draw my eye. But the more I learn about the industry, and the horrible truths thereof, the more I seem to want to steer clear of it. I don’t think I am ready for two hours of sleep, ego-centric models, and the dog-eat-dog nature of it, nor will I ever be. So I suppose I will have to be content watching the shows, and maybe designing my own flamboyant attire.
But don’t think that I have forgotten about my love and passion for acting. I have just refocused my attention to stage acting. I believe that stage acting takes much more skill and determination than screen acting, and therefore gives a bigger thrill and sense of accomplishment. I also believe that theatre is poetry in motion, and like poetry, and music for that matter, it can captivate and inspire. And besides all of that, getting up on stage, telling a story, and bringing joy to others is one of my greatest loves. As I stated earlier, performing provides me with a thrill, and sense of accomplishment and joy gained from little else in this world. I enjoy it thoroughly and would love to one day make the stage my second home.
And on the personal front I would love to become a dancer. Almost like my relationship with fashion, although dancing inspires me immensely, I do not think that I would like to make it my profession. Dancing is extremely beautiful and I would so much like to be a part of that beauty. Between the slow and sensuous waltz, and fun and lively samba there’s a dance for every mood. But the one dance which I have to learn is the tango. It is so beautiful, romantic, and passionate, and as I heard on a dance-themed film, ‘it’s like sex on hardwood.’ It really is magnificent and I have made it a goal in my life to learn to dance.
Travelling is also high on my agenda of things to do. I love broadening my horizons and learning about new cultures and people. And what better way to do that than travelling? I have decided that I must travel extensively in Europe, and Argentina, where dancing is a way of life, is a definite must. I have also made it a goal of mine to learn French, Dutch, Spanish, and maybe Italian fluently, and one day, I am most certainly going to live in France or the Netherlands.
So as you can most likely already tell, I am confused to say the least. I have all these ideas, dreams, and aspirations floating around in my head, and I just can not decide which one to choose. I suppose the time will come when I will make a choice, or a combination of choices, and I will be content. And I also know that by choosing one career, I am not locking out the others. I am simply putting them on hold until I have time later to pursue them. There is one thing I do know for sure, however. I know that whatever I end up choosing to do with my life, I must apply the Jewish principle of Tikkun Olam. Although I am not Jewish, I identify so much with this principle of hope for the future. The way I understand it, it motivates me to leave the world a better place than I found it. This has subconsciously always been an idea of mine; I have just now made it a goal in my life. No matter what career I choose, I know now that I must apply this principle and leave the world a better place for future generations.
And although I ought to stop procrastinating, I realise that one is only a teenager once, and that after these years are gone, one can never get them back. Therefore I have decided to keep all my career possibilities, as well as my little humanitarian dream, at the back of my mind. But my priority now is to enjoy my life, and live it to the fullest!